Hello me again. Norman Sinden Freelunch submissions editor for Up your Arse Publishing..
Now listen here you plebs. If I`d known my previous advice was going to create such criticism I would not have imparted my valuable knowledge on you.
Do not submit anymore Dystopian books to me. My office is awash with the damn stuff. I don`t want to read about brain munching zombies who keep their penis` in Pringles packets. I`m not interested in blood sucking virgins trying to supplement their menstrual cycle. Cold corpses staggering about by the light of a full moon are old hat. Their time is gone. Will you please accept that the un-dead are in fact very dead.
This business is about "The Classics." Get it! It`s about the chattering middle classes guffawing over a jolly good read. It`s about intellectual one-upmanship of which I`m top of the tree.
You lot will never be the next the next J.K. Rowling or Suzzane Collins so stop sending me your rubbish. God, this is making my blood boil and irritating my gout. So much so that these offices will be closed for the foreseeable future while I piss off on my yacht.
Regards Norman.
Now listen here you plebs. If I`d known my previous advice was going to create such criticism I would not have imparted my valuable knowledge on you.
Do not submit anymore Dystopian books to me. My office is awash with the damn stuff. I don`t want to read about brain munching zombies who keep their penis` in Pringles packets. I`m not interested in blood sucking virgins trying to supplement their menstrual cycle. Cold corpses staggering about by the light of a full moon are old hat. Their time is gone. Will you please accept that the un-dead are in fact very dead.
This business is about "The Classics." Get it! It`s about the chattering middle classes guffawing over a jolly good read. It`s about intellectual one-upmanship of which I`m top of the tree.
You lot will never be the next the next J.K. Rowling or Suzzane Collins so stop sending me your rubbish. God, this is making my blood boil and irritating my gout. So much so that these offices will be closed for the foreseeable future while I piss off on my yacht.
Regards Norman.
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