Hello, Lord Freelunch here. (Don`t mock, I bought the title from a corpse on E Bay.)
Ah..... How sweet. Tarqun`s E mailed a picture of Quinten and himself with a Greek waiter wearing wallpaper hats. Little shit, wait till I get my hands on him.
Anyway, here I am stuck in the office on my own. I`ve got to answer the phone, make tea and tear off my own toilet paper. Now listen up, you literary virgins, let this be another lesson for you. You cannot do everything on your own. You muppets are not only under the illusion you can write but also think you`re capable of cover design, author profiles, sleeve jacket blurb and promotion. We have an expression over here. "Jack of all trades and master of none." If you cannot work out the meaning behind this then you shouldn`t even be putting pen to paper. I only ever employ professionals!
"Agh................!"
That stupid window cleaner has fallen into the herbaceous border again.
No matter, now where was I? Yes, professionals. I have a whole legion of proof readers, copy editors and graphic designers employed to create utter perfection. You, on the other hand, have your mate Dave down the pub and your Mum providing literary appraisal. Now honestly, who do think will come out on top?
I cannot reiterate this enough. Leave it to the professionals. (ME!)
Goodness - this laptop closes much more smoothly since Tarquin spilt KY jelly everywhere.
Ah..... How sweet. Tarqun`s E mailed a picture of Quinten and himself with a Greek waiter wearing wallpaper hats. Little shit, wait till I get my hands on him.
Anyway, here I am stuck in the office on my own. I`ve got to answer the phone, make tea and tear off my own toilet paper. Now listen up, you literary virgins, let this be another lesson for you. You cannot do everything on your own. You muppets are not only under the illusion you can write but also think you`re capable of cover design, author profiles, sleeve jacket blurb and promotion. We have an expression over here. "Jack of all trades and master of none." If you cannot work out the meaning behind this then you shouldn`t even be putting pen to paper. I only ever employ professionals!
"Agh................!"
That stupid window cleaner has fallen into the herbaceous border again.
No matter, now where was I? Yes, professionals. I have a whole legion of proof readers, copy editors and graphic designers employed to create utter perfection. You, on the other hand, have your mate Dave down the pub and your Mum providing literary appraisal. Now honestly, who do think will come out on top?
I cannot reiterate this enough. Leave it to the professionals. (ME!)
Goodness - this laptop closes much more smoothly since Tarquin spilt KY jelly everywhere.