"No, sorry chief we don`t do lockable dust caps. I don`t think anybody`s trying to steal your air, you`ve probably got a slow puncture."
Sorry about that readers but I have to keep up the day job in order to protect my identity. It`s damn hard holding down two jobs, I could barely get out of bed this morning. The reason being I had to make a mercy dash to Wrexham in the wee small hours. Those Brecon Beacons are a nightmare to fly over.
Of all the literary woes I have to deal with lack of confidence is probably the major issue. Oh yes, you writers can master grammar, style, plot and a thousand other different issues. But alas, you upload to Kindle and go into a massive sulk when sales (if any) don`t come your way. Now don`t get me wrong, I`m on your side. I`m here to offer help and advice. I don`t want to fly over seven continents without offering at least a glimmer of hope.
So writers, you cannot make a living out of what you do, You`re deeply envious of those who appeared to have cracked it. Those with mega sales and bent backs supporting the weight of numerous literary awards. Instead of sulking you need to put what you do in perspective. In a sense you are unique but in another you are merely one of millions. Before the digital explosion the only person to see your work would have been the postman returning your manuscript for the umpteenth time.
Now ask yourself, are you looking for fame and fortune or are you a writer? If it`s the former then go and sign up for X Factor. But if you`re genuinely a writer you`ll shut the fuck up moaning and carry on writing irrespective of acclaim or what anybody else thinks.
Bollocks, Del Boy`s just arrived. It`s murder trying to change a front tyre on those Reliant Robins.
Sorry about that readers but I have to keep up the day job in order to protect my identity. It`s damn hard holding down two jobs, I could barely get out of bed this morning. The reason being I had to make a mercy dash to Wrexham in the wee small hours. Those Brecon Beacons are a nightmare to fly over.
Of all the literary woes I have to deal with lack of confidence is probably the major issue. Oh yes, you writers can master grammar, style, plot and a thousand other different issues. But alas, you upload to Kindle and go into a massive sulk when sales (if any) don`t come your way. Now don`t get me wrong, I`m on your side. I`m here to offer help and advice. I don`t want to fly over seven continents without offering at least a glimmer of hope.
So writers, you cannot make a living out of what you do, You`re deeply envious of those who appeared to have cracked it. Those with mega sales and bent backs supporting the weight of numerous literary awards. Instead of sulking you need to put what you do in perspective. In a sense you are unique but in another you are merely one of millions. Before the digital explosion the only person to see your work would have been the postman returning your manuscript for the umpteenth time.
Now ask yourself, are you looking for fame and fortune or are you a writer? If it`s the former then go and sign up for X Factor. But if you`re genuinely a writer you`ll shut the fuck up moaning and carry on writing irrespective of acclaim or what anybody else thinks.
Bollocks, Del Boy`s just arrived. It`s murder trying to change a front tyre on those Reliant Robins.