Hi, Norman Sinden Freelunch at your service. Actually I`m not at anyone`s service due to my megalithic arrogance. However I will apologise for being incognito for awhile. This was due to several litigation suites, some nonsense about embezzlement and tax evasion. Anyhow these misfortunes have caused me to reassess my life and make some serious changes.
Tarquin and the Greek waiter never returned from Kos. I last heard they had adopted two African children and painted them white to match the furniture.
I`ve had a feng shui expert redesign the office for both efficiency and spiritual balance. My desk has been realigned on an east west axis and I`ve discovered there`s a ley line running directly under the fax machine. This could explain why the paper never tears correctly across the perforations. As well as this I now only drink green tea with a dash of honey. So yes, I really do feel like a new man. (Much like Tarquin).
There`s an oriental proverb which reads. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." So here I am in all my glory.
Self promotion and bio`s? What really gets my goat are tin pot authors who write bio`s about themselves in the third person. Yeah right, like anyone anyone really believes you could find a third person to muster up the enthusiasm to glance at your work let alone show any genuine interest, e.g. "John Smith is a lifelong author who has used his expertise in flower arranging to write a two part trilogy about singularity."
No Mr Smith! We know you wrote this crap about yourself so stop pretending anyone even knows or cares about your work.
"Ring - ring."
I`m a professional publisher and we certainly don`t allow authors to write their own bios.
"Ring -ring."
My team of experts offer top class promotion and distribution.
"Ring - ring."
Although we might be a bit slow in trumping up with the royalties.
"Ring - ring."
Bollocks - where`s that squinty eyed bastard hidden the phone?
Tarquin and the Greek waiter never returned from Kos. I last heard they had adopted two African children and painted them white to match the furniture.
I`ve had a feng shui expert redesign the office for both efficiency and spiritual balance. My desk has been realigned on an east west axis and I`ve discovered there`s a ley line running directly under the fax machine. This could explain why the paper never tears correctly across the perforations. As well as this I now only drink green tea with a dash of honey. So yes, I really do feel like a new man. (Much like Tarquin).
There`s an oriental proverb which reads. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." So here I am in all my glory.
Self promotion and bio`s? What really gets my goat are tin pot authors who write bio`s about themselves in the third person. Yeah right, like anyone anyone really believes you could find a third person to muster up the enthusiasm to glance at your work let alone show any genuine interest, e.g. "John Smith is a lifelong author who has used his expertise in flower arranging to write a two part trilogy about singularity."
No Mr Smith! We know you wrote this crap about yourself so stop pretending anyone even knows or cares about your work.
"Ring - ring."
I`m a professional publisher and we certainly don`t allow authors to write their own bios.
"Ring -ring."
My team of experts offer top class promotion and distribution.
"Ring - ring."
Although we might be a bit slow in trumping up with the royalties.
"Ring - ring."
Bollocks - where`s that squinty eyed bastard hidden the phone?