Norman`s just nipped down to Bet Fred to put a tenner on the 2.15 at Kempton Park. That`s his first mistake, the second is he`s left his computer on standby.
I`ve got a degree in Media Studies from "The University of Flog Exam Results to Overseas Visitors." I know, I`m one of millions. Not only have I left Uni over £10,000 in debt but I`ve also been forced to take on this internship. My parents have threatened to throw me out if I don`t try and do something with my life. Huh, like I haven`t tried! What a start to a working life.
I`ve always been interested in literature but working here has made me see the grubby side of the industry. Norman`s registered the business as a charity so he doesn`t have to pay tax. He offers huge advances to his clients and takes them to court when they can`t pay it back. He says it serves them right because they`re all jumped up fools desperately craving fame and fortune. Lambs to the slaughter.
The business was set up by his Great Grandfather Normanski the Third. By all accounts he was a real gent with a genuine love for the industry. Since then Norman has squandered most of the assets on womanising and his passion for paintballing.
Anyhow, as far as I`m concerned it`s payback time. I`m going to update his Facebook status to Arsehole, sign him up to a gay dating site and instigate a direct debit to Lesbians for Peace.
"Tarquin, what are you doing?"