I get hundreds of submissions every day and I don`t read any of them. My heart sinks when I hear this nonsense tumble through my letterbox. I view it as you would cold calls advertising P.P.I. claims and ambulance chasing. I`m not interested and such approaches are a rude intrusion into my personal life..
Likewise you authors, desperate for publication, send your manuscripts to anyone with the letter "P" in their name. It`s almost as if you want to court disappointment. Why send your dystopian garbage to someone who publishes medical journals or sex novels to a publisher of prayer books. It makes no sense! There`s no point slinging mud everywhere in the hope that it might stick. Us publishers are far too discerning for that approach.
You need to find your market! There are plenty of retards out there who might actually want to read your stuff but you need to find them.
As usual I`m here to help so here`s a quick list.
!) Billinsgate. ................Concentrating on marine biology with an interest in scratch and sniff erotica.
2) Petticoat Lane..........Retro work and nostalgia. A time when things were a lot better. (And they really were)
3) Smithfield................ Blood guts and horror.
4) Ridley Rd Market.... Specialising in racial harmony and Public Health issues.
"Ouch! Tarquin I`ve just stumped my toe on a chair leg. Phone Hampton Hughes."