One of the main reasons for issuing pre-printed, write name in left hand corner rejection slips, is poor presentation. Namely, words used in the incorrect context, 68 word sentences littered with commas, and people who put a comma before, and. Shall I continue? My other bones of contention are three page paragraphs, flowery descriptions and overwriting..
"Tarquin, are you still breathing?"
You wannabes might think you`re in love with words but there`s no need to be positively incestuous about it. A story will not move if it`s bogged down with a two page description of making tea. Somebody should`ve told you you were wasting your time and money on those poncey creative writing classes.
Needless to say I won`t accept anything American. Pay attention, you spell colour like this! It`s called English Language for a reason. It wasn`t put there for you retards to bastardise. We might be a bankrupt tin pot country with no other use than being a nuclear dumping ground for the arms race but intellectually we will forever fly the flag.
"Tarquin, you`ve only got a job here because you wear Union Jack underpants. Quick, someone dial 911."